There are certain expectations bound to follow the promotion of a film with two superstars. You see, Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon in the same shot lends itself to a preconceived notion or two. However, no matter how promising this studded cast may have seemed before clicking play, Prime Video’s “You’re Cordially Invited” is a reminder that even the best of the best cannot salvage material destined to be the worst.

The film follows two weddings, ill-fatedly scheduled for the same weekend on the same quaint island due to the same kind of uncomfortable, noncommittal half-joke that viewers can expect for the next 90 minutes. Ferrell finds himself as Jim, the overbearing father to his best friend (some may call her his daughter, but neither of the two seem rather concerned with a concrete need for boundaries until the last act of the film throws this curveball into the plot for some lacking attempt at emotional maturity). Witherspoon leads as Margot, mostly estranged from her family and endlessly type-A in planning her sister’s wedding. From there, Jim and Margot find apparent fulfillment in fighting over square footage for almost two hours, and, as part of a plot point that only adds to the zaniness of this watch and nothing to its actual humor, both of these brides (Geraldine Viswanathan, Meredith Hagner) are betrothed to men who are quite possibly their worst matches available.

Here begins our downfall. Where a story of mutually-assured destruction and revenge thrives is in the arms of a careful curator who takes the time to mold both the cat and mouse as semi-likeable characters instead of just taking it for the sake of filling out their runtime. This streaming service cash grab at predator and prey drags on for about an hour too long, allowing just enough time for its paper-thin characters to make their baby steps toward being only slightly better humans than they were to begin with. Its audience, too, is granted just enough time to stick around through the first questionable hour, thinking that, surely, it must get better than this. From the very start, though, they are left stranded, without any characters with whom they can identify and without any concrete reason to root for either party at any point. By the time this storyline comes to its awaited end, viewers can trust to feel utterly unchanged and impartial. Perhaps, if the script relied more on writing that brings to life this genuinely promising premise and less on the esteem of their lead actors, Nick Jonas cameos and slapstick humor that seldom possesses the nerve to actually stick the landing, it just might have been able to hold up as a story that actually takes the audience on a journey instead of just a mind-numbingly lethargic trek through muddy waters.

The screenplay is guilty of showing off its punchlines like a proud child artist and their scribbles, then begging for a belated laugh that usually only ends up escaping as a chuckle of disbelief. When it is not proving infantile in this sense, however, the film still manages to sound, to the better-off passerby through the living room, like a jumble of screams and beaten-to-death expletives that sincerely hopes to be funny when it grows up. Luckily for any of these actors who have been waiting to unleash some deep-seated rage, this is a cast of fully grown adults who were ever so unfortunately written to be screaming tykes.

Ferrell and Witherspoon, although not at their strongest here by any means, are not necessarily to blame for this subpar viewing experience. After all, the only success that would have resulted from casting two lesser known leads would have been in a smaller degree of disappointment. “You’re Cordially Invited” is full of shock value, but the most substantial distress it instills is a fear for the future of streaming service originals. If this is the kind of nonsensical entertainment we are in for any time the theater seems too daunting, my hopes are not high for our on-the-couch browsing sessions to come. To this prime example, at least, I wish I sent in my “no” early.